Great Cat Jokes

LOL with these great cat jokes! Got any of your own? Share!


What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.

What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.

What happened when the cat went to the flea circus? He stole the whole show!

What is a cat's favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!

Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.

What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.

What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.

If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.

Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.

If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats.

Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you? That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.

How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion.

What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew.

What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every night.

What is a cat's favourite subject in school? HISStory.

What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.





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Funny Videos: Elvis Presley and a Hamster

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Health Tips: Overcoming Fat and Diabetes in our Dogs and Cats

Obesity in pets is a rising cause of health problems in the US today. What can you do to make sure your pet stays healthy? Here are some pet health care tips.

Dogs:

Slow and Steady Wins the Race:
Be careful not to get excited when your pup goes through a growth spurt and over feed him. Slow and steady is best for a dog's orthopedic health. Instead of feeding your growing puppy nutrient-packed food, vets recommend adult food instead.

Too much of a Good thing can be Bad:
Vitamins and supplements always sound like a good idea, but giving your dog too much may cause nutritional imbalances.

Dieting Tips:
If your dog is already overweight, and you want to help him shed sound pounds, help your dog feel full by substituting part of his meal with green beans or plain canned pumpkin. Both are rich in fiber, not in calories.


Cats:

The "Catkins" Diet
To ward off diabetes in your feline try "the catkins diet." 40 to 45 percent protein, 40 to 45 percent fat, and only 3 to 5 percent carbohydrates. You can also try canned cat foods which are closer to this ratio than dry. It may be more expensive than dry food, but your cat's health is worth it!

No Crash Dieting!
Never make your cat "fast." Not feeding your cat within 24 hours may result in a life-threatening situation.




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Summer is Hot! Watch out for Heat Stroke!

Every summer hundreds of pets and animals die of heat stroke. Here are a few tips on keeping them cool ( and healthy) this year.

-Make sure they stay inside with the air conditioner or fan on: when pets breath in overheated air, they can develop brain and organ damage in just 15 minutes, if left outside in the heat.

-Protect their feet: hot sidewalks and streets can cause a lot of burnt paws.

-If you suspect that your pet may be suffering from heat stroke, wrap them in cool wet towels and get them to your vet immediately

Here is some additional information from Midland Animal Services, ASPCA, the Humane Society of the United States and the University of Illinois College of Veterinary Medicine

If animals are outside, make sure they have access to shade and water. If you don’t have a dog house, placing a tarp or board over the corner of the fence will create the same effect. Also, make sure water bowls are close enough to the animal they can still reach it if their chain becomes tangled.

-Never leave an animal unattended inside a closed car. Pets don’t perspire like humans do and can overheat more quickly.

-If dogs have dark coats, are obese or have heart disease, be particularly wary of heat stroke and seek veterinary assistance if detected. Signs include panting, excessive salivation, hyper excitement and increased rectal temperature.

-Pets still need exercise in the heat, but limit rigorous activity to early mornings and evenings for older dogs, short-nosed dogs and those with dark coats.-Watch your pet’s ears and nose — animals can get sunburned too and may need sunscreen.

-As people fertilize their lawns for the summer be sure to keep your pets away as ingesting the insecticides can be fatal.

-Make sure your dog has been treated for heart worm, which is commonly caused by mosquito bites.

-Unless your dog’s coat is particularly dark, don’t shave the coat for summer. The same fur that keeps them warm in the winter helps insulate them from heat in the summer.

-Dogs can have allergies to long-term heat exposure just like humans. If you see red, round “hot spots” take the animal to a vet. (Tea bags can be applied to the area for immediate relief)

-With more people and animals spending time outside during the summer, it’s wise to spay or neuter dogs to reduce the likelihood they will bite.





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Noah's Ark and Cats

I found this great mythological story about The Cat and Noah's Ark:


"The cats in Noah's Ark...

...have been the subject of many folk legends. Such legends are not as well established as the previous mythological accounts referred to. Nevertheless, they are not less interesting. According to one of these, at the time of the flood, Noah took pairs of rats and mice too. However, the rodents multiplied very quickly and the Ark was, after a while, infested by rodents. Noah consulted the lion, who as king of the beasts may have known a solution. The lion sneezed and from his nostrils, a pair of ready made domestic cats came out, who instantly set down to work, having a natural instinct for being "verminators".

Sometimes, it is said that God created the cat, but that the mouse is the Devil's work. The Devil's mouse set out to destroy all life forms by gnawing a hole in the Ark. However, God's cat saved the day by killing the mouse, and a frog crept in the hole, thus getting it's amphibian tendencies, by being in contact with water and dry wood simultaneously.

Yet another Noah's Ark cat legend is that of the Manx cat, who has no tail because it was unpunctual in its arrival to the Ark, and the careless Noah closed it's tail in the door of the Ark. Well, after all he was only human, ey?

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Ten Dog Breeds that Do Not Shed!

Sick of vacuuming? Or using the lint remover every time you leave the house? Consider these shed-free breeds:

Bedlington Terrier

Poodle

Wire Fox Terrier

Yorkshire Terrier

Portuguese Water Dog

Bichon Frise

Maltese

Afghan Hound

Kerry Blue Terrier

Tibetan Terrier





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Videos: Cute Cat Falling Asleep

Awww..... For more cute cat videos, cute pictures of cats and even e-cards you can send with cats and cute messages on them go to CutePicturesOfCats.com



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Dog Care: Signs of Stress

I was reading Pet Age magazine and I found this great little pet care tip.

It's important to recognize when your dog is stressed. It can avoid an attack, bad behavior and even medical problems. Here's what Pet Age magazine said are some signs of canine stress:

Licking the Lips

Yawning

Closing the Mouth

Stiffening of the body

Flashing the whites of the eyes for more than 15 seconds

Nervous clawing or jumping on the supervisor

(in play groups)

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News: Look Out Dog Breeders Of Vermont!!

Two pending bills might put new restrictions on dog breeders in Vermont:

First:

House Bill 769 will:

-deny a kennel permit to anyone who sells 20 or more litters or 100 or more domestic dogs or wolf-hybrids in any 12 month period

-require permits for anyone who owns or keeps two or more domestic pets or wolf-hybrids 4 months of age or older for sale or breeding purposes

Second:

Senate Bill 341 will:

- limit the number of dogs a breeder can sell in one year
( under this bill a "dog breeder" means anyone who sells a litter of puppies per year for money)

Dog Breeders must:

-immunize each puppy with distemper, hepatitis, parainfluenze, parvovirus and coronavirus vaccine between 7 and 8 weeks of age
-certify each puppy by a vet on a state-prescribed form, as fit and healthy and received appropriate vaccinations before 8weeks old

Dog Breeders must not:

- donate, sell or separate a puppy from the litter until at least 8weeks old
- sell or donate more than 19 litters or more than 100 dogs in any calendar year



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Funny Videos: An Engineer's Guide to Cats

Doesn't the narrator's voice remind you of the teacher from Wonder Years?? But don't let that fool you, this video (while very educational on the care of felines) is pretty funny too.

Enjoy!


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Great Dog Books for Summer Reading!

Looking for some summer reading?Dog writers Association of America Celebrates Great books about Life with Dogs:

Best general interest book:

The Howell Book of Dogs by Liz Palika

Best Care and Health Book:

The Living Guide for senior dogs by Diane Morgan

The Best Single-Breed Pet Guide:

The Australian Shepherd Published By TFH Publications

Best All-Breed Magazine:

AKC Family Dog Published By:AKC

Best Special Interest Magazine:

Dogs for kids Published By: Fancy publications

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Funny Videos: Bonzai Cat

CutePicturesofCats.com Presents: Bonzai Cat!!

Thoughts?




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Help The Heroes

The Best Fundraiser Ever!

Help for Heroes is a charity campaign launched in October of 2007, its goal is to help the men and women of the Armed Forces who were wounded while serving in the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

And their new charity event is definitely more bite than bark! " Beat the Dog" is their latest event, where volunteers pay for the opportunity to see if they can outrun a military attack dog!

Wearing a protective bite-suit ( imagine a sumo suit) and helmet, the brave volunteers get a good head start before the attack dog is released. But I doubt any head start would be enough, the dogs soon catch the volunteer and tackle them to the floor.

Lieutenant Richard Campbell described the experience: “You just feel this awesome, powerful animal on your arm. Once he has got a hold he is taking you down. I did it for two reasons firstly for charity, and secondly because it is something completely different.”

This competition runs for the duration of 16 Air Assault Brigade’s summer tour and the winner will be the person who gets the furthest along the course before becoming a chew toy.

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Pet Grooming In Long Beach

Take a virtual tour of one of Long Beach's long established businesses. You'll be able to view the facilities, see how easy drop off and pick up are and meet one of the owners without ever leaving your seat.






Are you a pet owner? Check out http://planetpetstv.com/ to take a look at our other ads and find out how you can get your business featured on the internet today!




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Pet Friendley Theme Parks in California and Florida!

Summer time is coming up which means the beach, road trips ( higher gas prices) AND theme parks! But don't worry, many of the major theme parks in the USA offer options so that your pet is well taken care of while your enjoy your day!

Florida:

Walt Disney World

Since Disney World gets so many visitors, this park actually has five different kennel locations at the Magic Kingdom, Epcot, The Hollywood Studios, Animal Kingdom and Fort Wilderness for $15 a pet. They accept cats, dogs and any "pocket pets" such as hamsters and gerbils. Some of the Kennels also offer extras like walking, cuddles and even an ice cream break for an additional charge! For 2$ the disney staff will cater to any medication needs your pet may have and all facilities offer overnight stays as well.

In The Works: a luxury pet "resort" that will provide boarding, day care and grooming services and doggy day camp. Of course, Disney "upped" it a notch and their pet luxury resort will include television, raised bedding, activities such as nature walks and playgroups, and bedtime stories.

Universal Studios in Orlando

They offer a day care center for only 10$ a pet.

Sea World in Orlando

Pets have both inside and outside access at $8 a day per pet.

Want a great time AND free a pet sitter?

The Busch Gardens in Tampa: Its free, and outdoors.

Kennedy Space Center: It's free, but also there is no supervision and you must bring your own food, water and bedding.


California

DisneyLand

For $20 a day you can put your pet inside the Disneyland Kennel which will provide him with a meal. Dogs are also allowed to ride the Disneyland trams from the parking structures to the kennels.


Universal Studios Hollywood in Los Angeles

Offers an air-conditioned pet care area, but there is supervision and it's on a first come first serve basis.


Six Flags Magic Mountain Valencia, California is also pet friendly. However, not EVERY six flags across the USA is.





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Dog Grooming and Dog Boarding in Long Beach, CA

Live in Long Beach? Check out a slide show of the great facilities at Pet Set. They have Doggie Day Care, Dog and Cat Boarding and grooming!








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AKC Lists of the Top Ten Most Popular Dog Breeds

(Trumpets Blaring) ( Drum Roll.... )

Top Ten Most Popular Breeds in the US are.....

10) Bulldogs: Yay! It is the first year that the bull dog has made it into the top ten list. Last year they were 12, and before that 18. Congrats to the bulldog!






9) Shih Tzu, They were also nine last year ( Yawn)

8) Poodles

7) Dachshunds

6) Boxers

5) Beagles

4) Retrievers ( Golden)

3) German Shepherd Dogs: These Hounds have been number 3 for the past FOUR years. Wow

2) Yorkshire Terriers: Boy did they come up! Two years ago they were number 6, and the year before, number 9.

And finally the number one spot goes to....

Labrador Retriever! They've been number one for the past four years!

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